06 January 2012

EXTREME COUPONING vs. HALF-ASS SAVING


What would be the opposite of "Extreme Couponing"? Lackluster Couponing? 'Meh' Couponing? Normal??

If you don't know what Extreme Couponing is (maybe you ignore all channels that profit off shows about cakes and tiny people without once combining the two), it's a show about people using massive amounts of coupons to amass incredible stockpiles of just about everything a middle 'Murrica! family would ever need. These people make regular shopping trips to grocery stores all over the country (come on though, most of these have to be in the Midwest...) and regularly walk away with hundreds of dollars in groceries having paid under $20.



One has to wonder, with this level of commitment to couponing taking upwards of 8 hours a day, maybe the salary brought in using that time at a full-time job would actually have more of an effect on the household's bottom line than being able to buy 90 toothbrushes at $0.02 each does.

But who am I to judge? If you want to have a hobby that also saves you tons of cash on things you have to buy, that's awesome. I'm all in favor of the 99% saving 99%*.

But these shows are all full of people that are the best of the best at couponing. Seeing these saving savants at work doesn't really hold my interest past one or two episodes. I want to see a show about the absolute worst couponer alive. I want to see a show following this terrible couponer around as he tries and fail miserably to save money. Some of this guy's best tactics would have to include:

  • Forgetting his coupons and home and not realizing it until after all of his items are scanned.
  • Losing patience while hundreds of coupons are being scanned in and just paying for $300 in groceries.
  • Regular appearances by his son/partner in couponing. The son has to seem to despise couponing and you can tell he's being forced into it against his will. He has to be even worse at couponing than his father.
  • The couponer, after having $500 in groceries rung up, swipes his card and pays for everything while not remembering he even brought coupons until he's halfway back to his car.
Hell, I would watch any show where you replace someone that's the best at something for someone equally as terrible. Replace the cast of Mad Men with a failing ad agency that is just TERRIBLE. Replace the Real Housewives with husbands that can't make alimony payments. Give two crackheads a chemistry set and a blowtorch and call it Methbusters. Switch the casts from Jersey Shore and Gossip Girl.

Come on, TLC. I came up with those in 12 seconds, and if you make even half of those ideas happen, you'll still be miles ahead of most of the programming on FOX.




*TLC, please hire me to do your advertising.

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