09 January 2012

Do You Live In Ohio? I'm Sorry...

Yes, I found this sticker randomly in downtown Chicago.
I alluded to this on Friday, but I just don't like Ohio. I don't like Ohio State athletics. I don't like that there's actually a college named "Miami of Ohio" there (which is second to "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" on my list of Worst Examples of Playing Fast and Loose with Geography). Never mind the fact that Miami of Ohio sports produced one accused rapist (Ben Roethlisberger) and one that looks like he could be (Wally Sczerbiak).

I know that I shouldn't rate an entire state around how much I have to pay in tolls to drive through it, but holy shit, does anything good ever happen there? Trying to find some news to write about for a Midwestern Roundup, here are the top headlines right now on ONN TV, Ohio's top news source:

So to recap, the ONLY things happening in Ohio right now that aren't absolutely terrible and frightening:

1. It won't be too cold out today.
2. There's a cool coffee shop somewhere.

THAT'S ALL! There's nothing else to live for in Ohio!

(Shoots self in face, moves to Pennsylvania)


Jake said...

Please keep ripping Ohio and ignoring us.


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