23 January 2012

Drinking And Walking Just As Bad As Drinking And Driving

This may or may not actually be me.
I know no one that went to University of Chicago. I don't know what they do there or who their professors are. But, unless it's uncovered that they torture puppies and kittens, I will FOREVER support anything they want to do at that school. Because they bring us studies like this one:
In a safety analysis on NPR's Marketplace New Year’s Eve, Freakonomics author and University of Chicago economist Steven Levitt picked drunk driving over drunk walking. According to Levitt:
So just to put it simply, if you need to walk a mile from a party to your home, you're eight times more likely to die doing that than if you jump behind the wheel and drive your car that same mile.
This is bad news for me. I'm a frequent driver, but an even MORE frequent drunken wanderer. I think I love walking around aimlessly more than actually drinking. On my birthday in 2010, I walked 3.5 miles home in the middle of the night. My cell phone got dropped in a puddle. Some stranger (either a murderer or rapist) offered me a ride to "wherever I was going". I may or may not have vomited. Top 5 birthday.
A calculation like this requires some assumptions, because there's no government database on drunk walking. Also, people drive drunk much farther distances than they'd walk drunk. And most important: a drunk walker can't hurt or kill someone else the way a drunk driver can. That said, the death toll from drunk walking is undeniable.
Dammit. This ruins my day. Time to find a new, mundane task to complete while drunk. Drunk painting? Drunk 'Ikea-furniture-assembling'? Drunk Words With Friends? DRUNK LAWN EQUIPMENT OPERATING???

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