06 January 2012

Midwesternist 'Creeper Of The Week': Some Cop In Stickney


Scenario 1: Cop pulls over woman. Both are extremely charming. Cop lets woman off without giving her a ticket. A few nights later, cop and woman just happen to run into each other. Sparks fly. Romance ensues.

That's straight out of the movie Bridesmaids.

Scenario 2: Cop pulls over woman. Cop gives woman $132 ticket. No sparks fly. Cop then uses info from that ticket to stalk the woman using the DMV database and find where she lives. Cop goes to her place and leaves a creepy note on woman's car asking her on a date.

That little slice of creepy didn't happen in Bridesmaids. Hell, it didn't even happen in Cape Fear. But it did happen IN REAL LIFE RIGHT HERE IN CHICAGO.
Evangelina Paredes accuses Stickney cop Chris Collins of violating her privacy by searching motor-vehicle records for her address, then leaving a handwritten note on her car windshield outside her apartment two days after she was ticketed.
A copy of the alleged note was attached to the lawsuit, filed last week in U.S. District Court in Chicago. It starts with an attempt at self-deprecating humor, saying, "It's Chris ... that ugly bald Stickney cop who gave you that ticket."
"I know this may seem crazy and you're probably right, but truth is I have not stopped thinking about you since," it continues. "I don't expect a girl as attractive as you to ... even go for a guy like me, but I'm taking a shot anyways."
"But hey," it continues apologetically, "I did cost you $132 — least I can do is buy you dinner."
"Yeah, and don't worry about getting raped and murdered either. I'm totally not a creepy stalker. Even though I already looked up your personal information and address in the DMV database, came to your house uninvited and left you a creepy note on your car. Once you get past 100% of the behavior you've seen from me so far, I'm a pretty normal guy!"

With the first note not having quite the intended effect, I assume his second try would look a little something like this:
"And IIIIIII....will always love youuuuuuuuu..."


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