04 January 2012

Midwesternist Man Of The Year: Ron Swanson

The first time I ever saw Nick Offerman on television, it was an episode of Deadwood. Offerman stumbled down a hotel/saloon stairway and passed out at the bottom face first. He was also completely naked. It's funny because if there's one place Ron Swanson, the Parks and Recreation character Offerman's come to embody, would fit in perfectly, it would be in the lawless Wild West of Deadwood. Or in the mountains, alone in a log cabin. Or living as a caveman, killing all of his food by hand and roasting it over an open fire. There isn't much a salt-of-the-Earth man like Ron Swanson can't do, which is why we here at The Midwesternist would like to name Ron Swanson our inaugural Midwesternist Man of the Year for 2012.

(Note: If you don't watch Parks and Recreation on NBC, this post will not make much sense to you. Also, you need to hop on Netflix, call in sick the next 2 days, and watch every single episode. Seriously, it's time to start Photoshopping your life with better choices, Jerry.)

Narrowing down your favorite Ron Swanson moment is an exercise in futility. How does one rank Ron's art show speech against his views on Canada against his philosophy on birthdays against his views on government or any other number of memorable Swanson moments?

If I had to pick one moment that completely sums up everything that's awesome about Ron, it came early in the first season. Ron suffers a hernia and tries to tough it out, as a real man should. When it's time for him to make the incredibly painful trip to the doctor, his response was direct and to the point.

You're goddamn right he's ready. Hes Ron F**king Swanson. He's always prepared, whether he has to flee from his ex-wife on a moment's notice or think on the fly when it comes to finding something suitable to eat. Ron is not just a man's man, He's a man's man's man. Ron is everything you would want out of a father, an uncle, a boss, a best friend. He's everything to everyone, but he does it on his own terms. Ron Swanson so perfectly encapsulates everything that a Midwestern man should be, it will be tough to top him in any future Man of the Year picks.

Perhaps the most badass creation of our time has to be the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness, which I try and live my entire life by.

Finding the clips above, I've found even more fantastic Ron Swanson moments that I would like to share with you. I'd say these are the top 5, but as I said before, ANY Ron Swanson clips could make the top 5.

Ron on Sleep Fighting

Ron on Dealing With Injuries

Ron on Drinking Moonshine

Ron's Scoutmaster Guide

Ron on What Makes America Great
(Possibly the most Midwestern thing ever said)

God bless Ron Swanson. God bless America.


Jake said...

Swanson vs. Food

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