06 January 2012

Things To Do This Weekend In: Akron, OH!

Things To Do This Weekend In... is a weekly feature here at The Midwesternist. We want to keep everyone out there in the know about the best entertainment the Midwest has to offer, even in places that may or may not be "civilized". If you have any cities you'd like us to focus on in future installments, leave them in the comments.

Akron, Ohio. The Rubber City. The City of Invention. The "Other, Other, Other, Other" Big City of Ohio. I don't have much experience with Akron myself. I've never been there, known anyone that lives there or learned anything important about it. I'm trying to fight my basest instincts, which tell me that it's probably a place that was on discount at the Hellhole Store. But that might just be my hatred of all things Ohio coming through, which itself is based on the amount in tolls you have to pay to get through the goddamn place. What is this, Sherwood Forrest? Am I paying tribute to the king?

if you live in Akron, that's probably depressing in its own right. That's why Uncle Rich is looking out for you! Here's a bunch of fun stuff you can do this weekend to stave off depression and space madness for another few days!
  • 6th Annual Firefighters Chili Challenge (1/6, @Lock 3): A $5 donation lets you stuff your face with all the chili you can stomach (and since it's in Ohio, I assume that's a lot). The good: The proceeds go to the Akron Children's Hospital Burn Unit. The bad: The possibility of eating the merciless Guatemalan Insanity Peppers of Quetzlzacatenango . Also, chili farts.
  • LAAADIES NIGHTTT!!!! (1/6, @69 Taps Pub & Eatery): If you're a guy, just make sure the lady you bring home hasn't been to the chili cook-off. I know that may seem like common sense, but you're also living in Ohio, which means you may not have the best judgement.
  • Midlife Chryslers (1/7, @Northside Bar & Grill): I'm completely disappointed that I cannot find any information on what this actual event is. A gathering of people 40-55 that all happen to drive Chryslers? Cars themselves that are 40-55 years old? If that's the case, can the cars talk like in the movie Cars? WE DEMAND MORE INFORMATION, AKRON!
  • Stained Glass, Copper Foiling 1 with Marianne Hite (1/9 @Summit Artspace): I'd make a joke about this class being a front for designing and making pipes to smoke meth, but this is Ohio, not Iowa.
  • Sit Around And Hate Lebron James (All day, every day): I assume that's what most people in Ohio do with most of their spare time.


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